This is really tough for both of those moments, and I can really understand how you're feeling this way.
Sometimes our minds like to associate patterns with a situation, and often that can be something recognisable, like a person, a colour, an object. This can happen, even if deep down we know they weren't the cause, but they serve as a reminder, often a painful one of the event.
The moment sticks, for obvious reasons with your mum and Zee, and so does the person with those moments
A hard thing to hold, with reminders around, but recognising the challenge is one step forward.🤗
This was a beautiful piece of self-checking. I love the way you allow yourself to feel the discomfort and the frustration, while also being down to earth about its lack of rationality. Reading this was a breath of fresh air. I hope you find some peace of mind regarding this situation soon. Sending love 💛
“She likely has no idea she’s starring in a psychological drama inside my head involving workplace betrayal, grief, and a dog who deserved to live forever.”
I’ve been through something similar recently, and your piece affected me more than you can imagine. I think our minds try to find a reason during grief, even when we know there isn’t really one. And somehow, the presence of the cleaning lady became that “why” for your mind :(
It’s so clear that Zee was a very lucky dog, and I’m sending you lots of love during this time. Also, I absolutely loved your writing style 🤍
So sorry that you went through something similar. Thank you so much for reading and for the good vibes. I miss Zee every day. We have two other dogs but it isn't the same. And thank you so much for the compliment, going to check out your posts as well :)
It's tough how someone can just be the remainder for the bad things that happens to you and your brain makes you think every other thing is their fault
this made me pause. the way something small can carry so much weight without anyone else seeing it… I felt that. especially the part about Zee. that kind of loss doesn’t leave clean edges.✨
The honesty is really appreciated here and I am very sorry about Zee ❤️🩹 I lost my elderly dog a few months ago and it’s the literal worst.
But I reframe my ache with gratitude on a near constant basis. And using my mind to intentionally reach for the moments to be thankful for really goes a long way toward healing and understanding that there is beauty available in every situation.
I'm so sorry about your dog... it truly is the worst. I spent some time after trying to figure out if time travel was possible so I could go back and see her again. 😕🙄 Not rational but love isn't when you think about it. thank you for your kind words and I really do try to be grateful for the days I had with Zee and pray there's a universe I get to see her again. hope the same for you and your pup! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I’m not laughing but I actually am because you just described my Gyda (my cleaning lady) experiences. Gyda comes every other Tuesday and she actually doesn’t even clean that well anymore, but she’s become part of my family and I know she needs the money, so I clean before she comes.
My dickhead SO cannot stand her, so I make sure to talk to her as much as possible about misogyny and the patriarchy, because her husband is a jerk, which is why she’s still cleaning houses at 66 while her husband is retired on a full union pension. I’m hoping his elite Univ studying is picking up what I’m throwing down.
Maybe it’s a cleaning lady thing, because Gyda would probably drive me bananas if I wasn’t doing it on purpose.
that's so funny…I'm glad I'm not the only one with this experience. I feel bad for Gyda her husband sounds like an ahole! funny i asked mine about her husband being deported and she said (translated from Portuguese) that he was stupid and she had told him he needed to renew his visa and he ignored her.
I felt how honestly and humorously you shared the chaos of daily life, while also carrying deep sorrow. I’m so sorry for your loss of Zee—the loyal and loving dog.🙂
It’s challenging when are wounds are triggered by others and you just want to push those people away - just like the wounds. It’s hard to sit with them and work with them when they arise — to feel and regulated and shift it.. girrrrrl it’s a trip! 🤍💛
This is really tough for both of those moments, and I can really understand how you're feeling this way.
Sometimes our minds like to associate patterns with a situation, and often that can be something recognisable, like a person, a colour, an object. This can happen, even if deep down we know they weren't the cause, but they serve as a reminder, often a painful one of the event.
The moment sticks, for obvious reasons with your mum and Zee, and so does the person with those moments
A hard thing to hold, with reminders around, but recognising the challenge is one step forward.🤗
This was a beautiful piece of self-checking. I love the way you allow yourself to feel the discomfort and the frustration, while also being down to earth about its lack of rationality. Reading this was a breath of fresh air. I hope you find some peace of mind regarding this situation soon. Sending love 💛
Thank you so much. That balance was exactly what I was trying to get at, letting the discomfort be real without pretending it was noble.
love this!!
I look at it like this keep her and one day a week you might regret it. Get rid of her and you'll regret it 7 days a week in a dirty house...
interesting twist… she's decided to go back to Brazil with her husband and one of her helpers is now cleaning my house. I didn't have to do anything!
I've regretted letting my cleaner go ever since I did!! So glad it all worked out for you all!
Very well written. I found it to be a powerful and thoughtful read
“She likely has no idea she’s starring in a psychological drama inside my head involving workplace betrayal, grief, and a dog who deserved to live forever.”
I’ve been through something similar recently, and your piece affected me more than you can imagine. I think our minds try to find a reason during grief, even when we know there isn’t really one. And somehow, the presence of the cleaning lady became that “why” for your mind :(
It’s so clear that Zee was a very lucky dog, and I’m sending you lots of love during this time. Also, I absolutely loved your writing style 🤍
So sorry that you went through something similar. Thank you so much for reading and for the good vibes. I miss Zee every day. We have two other dogs but it isn't the same. And thank you so much for the compliment, going to check out your posts as well :)
This is so beautiful
And zee is so cute
It's tough how someone can just be the remainder for the bad things that happens to you and your brain makes you think every other thing is their fault
I know it's not rational. it's so ridiculous it's not her fault! but it still feels like it is.
Yessssss 🥲
this made me pause. the way something small can carry so much weight without anyone else seeing it… I felt that. especially the part about Zee. that kind of loss doesn’t leave clean edges.✨
This is so beautiful
The honesty is really appreciated here and I am very sorry about Zee ❤️🩹 I lost my elderly dog a few months ago and it’s the literal worst.
But I reframe my ache with gratitude on a near constant basis. And using my mind to intentionally reach for the moments to be thankful for really goes a long way toward healing and understanding that there is beauty available in every situation.
I'm so sorry about your dog... it truly is the worst. I spent some time after trying to figure out if time travel was possible so I could go back and see her again. 😕🙄 Not rational but love isn't when you think about it. thank you for your kind words and I really do try to be grateful for the days I had with Zee and pray there's a universe I get to see her again. hope the same for you and your pup! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I’m so sorry about Zee. 😭
I’m not laughing but I actually am because you just described my Gyda (my cleaning lady) experiences. Gyda comes every other Tuesday and she actually doesn’t even clean that well anymore, but she’s become part of my family and I know she needs the money, so I clean before she comes.
My dickhead SO cannot stand her, so I make sure to talk to her as much as possible about misogyny and the patriarchy, because her husband is a jerk, which is why she’s still cleaning houses at 66 while her husband is retired on a full union pension. I’m hoping his elite Univ studying is picking up what I’m throwing down.
Maybe it’s a cleaning lady thing, because Gyda would probably drive me bananas if I wasn’t doing it on purpose.
BTW… almost 1/2 done with the book
that's so funny…I'm glad I'm not the only one with this experience. I feel bad for Gyda her husband sounds like an ahole! funny i asked mine about her husband being deported and she said (translated from Portuguese) that he was stupid and she had told him he needed to renew his visa and he ignored her.
I felt how honestly and humorously you shared the chaos of daily life, while also carrying deep sorrow. I’m so sorry for your loss of Zee—the loyal and loving dog.🙂
The laptop screen the size of a Pop Tart... That one little detail was too real...
I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing a soul dog is truly crushing. I unfortunately understand that experience.
Grief is such a fickle beast.
I hope as you navigate your grief you give yourself grace in the emotional connections, even when you know reasonbly, no person is to blame.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Sending you love and strength 🖤
thank you so much Krystal. I appreciate you reading and your compassion. I miss Zee every day!
I just recently lost a pet, it will hurt for a long time. That void sucks. Feels weird just feeding one cat now.
Leo I'm so sorry it's the fucking worst. sending you lots of love and hugs. may kitty RIP 🙏
Thank you
It’s challenging when are wounds are triggered by others and you just want to push those people away - just like the wounds. It’s hard to sit with them and work with them when they arise — to feel and regulated and shift it.. girrrrrl it’s a trip! 🤍💛
And a great piece of writing. 🫶🏻
thank you so much for reading and you're so right about triggers! .