I like the chapter overall, however If I might add in a suggestion as a dog owner myself. Once a dog bolts you won't catch it, they are too fast for humans. The only way to grab it in my experience is to get it to slow down somehow and I wonder if that could be incorporated to your writing. Maybe a call to stop, or someone else intervenes, maybe the dog gets distracted at the last second? I realise that the dog being jumped on is significant to the plot but I just can't understand how it could happen until the animal reaches its goal and naturally stops, at which point jumping on it seems unnecessary and the leash could simply be picked up. Thank you for sharing and I'm keen to see what happens in the next chapter :)
I really appreciate that. I may tweak it so there's a reason she slows down. Being a big reader myself sometimes details like this get me hung up so glad you shared. 💙💜❤️
No worries. It's funny, I just thought about you as I was out walking my dog this lunchtime and watched as a lady lost control of her Spaniel dog and it ran up to mine. There's no way she could have dove down and caught it to grab the dog around the chest. It ran like greased lightning toward me to play and was like 0 - 30 mph in the blink of an eye.
I realise this is integral to the plot and having read the next chapter now I see that the person ends up in hospital. I was trying to think of a solution and I wonder if the dog could have on an extending leash, and as it bolts and it is free for a time, until the leash snaps tight, and maybe pulls the owner over and into the path of traffic? Maybe then the dog guiltily returns and they hug before the person passes out?
This chapter was a wild ride. I felt disoriented reading it which is fantastic. The Trader Joe’s line caught me so off guard I loved it. Will DM with deeper notes. But awesome concept. Excited to read the rest
I can relate to that moment of chaos and sudden clarity
I’ve felt it while chasing my own projects The way you captured time slipping reminded me how consistency and systems anchor creativity even when the world tilts
How do you keep your ideas grounded when everything feels scattered?
I'm not sure this is answering your question but I personally need down time. Time by myself (with the exception of my dogs) not having to talk or think about anyone else. That's what grounds me. That's when I get clarity. How about you?
As a person who prefers a dog over a human, you had me from the beginning. And, I’ve been there. My sweet Bella Houdini’d herself right out of her collar and bolted when she was still a pup ….she made it, but, my heart…..I’ll never forget that feeling.
I like the chapter overall, however If I might add in a suggestion as a dog owner myself. Once a dog bolts you won't catch it, they are too fast for humans. The only way to grab it in my experience is to get it to slow down somehow and I wonder if that could be incorporated to your writing. Maybe a call to stop, or someone else intervenes, maybe the dog gets distracted at the last second? I realise that the dog being jumped on is significant to the plot but I just can't understand how it could happen until the animal reaches its goal and naturally stops, at which point jumping on it seems unnecessary and the leash could simply be picked up. Thank you for sharing and I'm keen to see what happens in the next chapter :)
I really appreciate that. I may tweak it so there's a reason she slows down. Being a big reader myself sometimes details like this get me hung up so glad you shared. 💙💜❤️
No worries. It's funny, I just thought about you as I was out walking my dog this lunchtime and watched as a lady lost control of her Spaniel dog and it ran up to mine. There's no way she could have dove down and caught it to grab the dog around the chest. It ran like greased lightning toward me to play and was like 0 - 30 mph in the blink of an eye.
I realise this is integral to the plot and having read the next chapter now I see that the person ends up in hospital. I was trying to think of a solution and I wonder if the dog could have on an extending leash, and as it bolts and it is free for a time, until the leash snaps tight, and maybe pulls the owner over and into the path of traffic? Maybe then the dog guiltily returns and they hug before the person passes out?
That's of course if you actually know this. If you don't know this you might try to catch it.
But also, reacting instinctively... You know what I mean?
Since this comes up later on, this might be a good idea for later, though :)
I like it very much! I’m so glad Ian DM Taniels encouraged you!
Ty so much 💓
This chapter was a wild ride. I felt disoriented reading it which is fantastic. The Trader Joe’s line caught me so off guard I loved it. Will DM with deeper notes. But awesome concept. Excited to read the rest
Can't wait to read more!!!
Here's what I've released so far
https://open.substack.com/pub/katekara/p/start-here-table-of-contents-ej-donovan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=179nz2
That makes my day!!! Thank you for reading!
Our pets truly are fury Angels, whether they are with us in flesh and spirit, or just around in spirit ♥️
They really touch your soul. I refuse to believe they are ever gone!
Well, what happens next? I need to know, got really drawn into this beginning!
That makes me so happy! Thank you! Here's what I've released so far
https://open.substack.com/pub/katekara/p/start-here-table-of-contents-ej-donovan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=179nz2
woah cool! i cant wait to read the rest of your work
I just posted the next chapter! https://open.substack.com/pub/katekara/p/the-room-where-she-waited?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=179nz2
Ty so much! That makes me so happy 😊
I can relate to that moment of chaos and sudden clarity
I’ve felt it while chasing my own projects The way you captured time slipping reminded me how consistency and systems anchor creativity even when the world tilts
How do you keep your ideas grounded when everything feels scattered?
I'm not sure this is answering your question but I personally need down time. Time by myself (with the exception of my dogs) not having to talk or think about anyone else. That's what grounds me. That's when I get clarity. How about you?
I need to breathe and be around nature
Great story. I loved it.
I’m already loving it
Great name 🤩
Don't get me wrong I really enjoy your writing... but how could I not subscribe to Zee?? 🩷💜💚❤️🧡 Hers was short for Xena .
Xena has been one of my alias’s
Synchronicities abound
Love it 🥰
Very intriguing start! I like your style and the pacing. It reads well! Thank you for sharing!
Ty so much and also for encouraging me! I'll see what kind of response I get and maybe post the next chapter.
Sounds good :) Since it's short chapters, like mine, you can keep posting and people will / might catch up :)
Here's what I've released so far... would love you to continue!
https://open.substack.com/pub/katekara/p/start-here-table-of-contents-ej-donovan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=179nz2
“Zee wasn’t just a dog. She was gravity with fur.”
Yep, that’s it, I’m done, hand her the keys to the universe~
Grief said 'portal', reality said 'Trader Joe’s', and Zee just held everything together like it was her job.
Ten pages in and I already trust the dog more than physics.
As a person who prefers a dog over a human, you had me from the beginning. And, I’ve been there. My sweet Bella Houdini’d herself right out of her collar and bolted when she was still a pup ….she made it, but, my heart…..I’ll never forget that feeling.